Dear Michelle

There will be things you wish you had done earlier. Travelling will top the list. Not just because you can accumulate an enviable collection of passport stamps, but because ‘all these places’ will teach you that there is so much more to the world than unspoiled beaches, a regular pay cheque, clean water and flushable toilets. You will discover that some of your most favourite places in the world will not be Paris, but St Remy de Provence; and not Prague but an unassuming university town called Leuven. You will take yourself to places where your cousins will live on less than $50 a month, yet they will be the most content people you will ever care to meet.

Be thankful when your high school sweetheart says he got over you in a week. Be grateful that he didn’t want you back. To be perfectly honest, he won’t be the first. It’s a cruel world. But you will learn that most of this is comes down to the fact that they simply haven’t got their shit together yet. And why should you wait for him to do so?

Nevertheless, you will be bitter for a long time but trust me, he – and the next guy – did you a big favour. The bottom line is: if you think you deserve better, you do. If you think you could be happier, you can be. Don’t sell yourself short just because you assume that no one else can put up with you the way he does.

Your heart will break in shards more than once but you will quickly realise that this is as inevitable as bad hair days. But you are stronger than you think and bolder than you believe; love isn’t a halfway job and you will learn to do it with so much conviction that what comes will be so much better than what came before. Love rewards the brave.

But you will not know what love is until you turn 25. And even by the time you turn 30, you will only be halfway there. The bad news is, your first boyfriend will not be your last. The good news is, it will only take you a few bad dates to find the love of your life.

Marriage isn’t as frightening as you think. The trick is, not to think about it too much. The whole ball and chain thing, I mean. In fact, when you meet him, it will feel like the most natural thing in the entire world. People will joke that it’s the biggest mistake you’ll ever make, but I secretly think that, deep down, everyone wants to find someone who will put up with their crazies and love them back for the rest of their life. Who would be crazy enough to turn that down?

The best and the worst thing about your 20s will be depression. You will never know how low you can go until you find yourself fantasising about clicking your heels together and cutting your time here short. It will be your darkest hour but as the clock ticks over, you will learn that, like everything else, these storms are temporary, with the help of someone who will equip you to weather them in years to come. It will be another three years before you can finally stand on your own, but you will grow to such an extent that you will barely recognise yourself. This is the day you have waited to wake up to. Some things are worth sticking around for and trust that the best is yet to come.

Your biggest downfall will not be falling prey to guys who write a song about you and strum it on their guitar in the back seat of your car, or not being able to commit yourself to saving up for your first home. Your biggest mistake will be making work your life. You will bust your gut because that’s the only way you know how. You will be so consumed with climbing a ladder that it will hurt like hell when you come tumbling down. You will trust people far too much (much of the same can be said for your personal life), you will believe what everyone says, you will be trampled on until you can no longer stand up straight, and you will tell yourself that just because you went to uni, you are entitled to feeling like you are the bees knees and no one could possible ever convince you otherwise. But sure enough, one day someone will. And not only will it break you in two, but it will teach you to work smarter, not harder.

You will be surprised to find that the people you thought would be in your life for a long time simply won’t be. Right now you may value friendships more than family or romantic relationships but it will take you the next ten years to realise that like boys, friends come and go. Best friends, even. And the older you get, the more this will ring true. By the time you turn 30, your social circle will halve from when you were 18. But don’t be disheartened. Some people were only meant to be in your life for a short while, whilst a small few really will be there for you come rain, hail and shine. You will summon the courage to walk away from those who aren’t worth the investment, but it will leave you with a greater appreciation of the ones who are.

The truth is, the greatest lesson you will learn in your 20s is that your mother wasn’t as clueless as you had believed for the past 25-odd years, and that her maternal ways weren’t as archaic as you had convinced yourself for all of this time. But you will need to move out of home to discover this; and even though it will feel like you’re turning your back on her, know that she will still be there on the sidelines, cheering you on in this game they call Life.