I couldn’t help but be moved by a Kelly Clarkson ditty that debuted on the radio the other day. Like many others, the song speaks of break-ups and the ensuing emotions; of people being afflicted by one of the sorest pains in the world; and of a heartache I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.
It propelled me to dig up a previous post of mine – most appropriately described as a raw and honest account of the lessons I had learnt five months after a break-up. Yes, people break up everyday. And it sucks and it hurts. And it feels like no one can possibly understand what you’re going through. And sometimes you just want to erase the past eight years; because you know he didn’t deserve any part of you at all.
I’ve come to realise that I am as bitter as ever. The ridiculous thing is, the more happy I am in the present; the more resentful I become about the past. The more my current relationship goes from strength to strength, the more insecure I feel about having a seemingly beautiful life taken away from me again.
But 18 months on, I have learnt the most important lesson of them all:
See the past for what it is
But don’t ever look back.
Don’t go back to him.
Don’t believe things will be better this time.
Don’t even go there.
Because it’s already broken.
Because you will be happy again.
Because what feels like the worst thing to happen to you, will eventually be the best thing you’ll ever walk away from.
