Advice I would give to my younger self.

I asked my husband this question quite randomly over dinner last night and, much to my surprise, he gave me such earnest, pensive answers. I was so inspired by his thoughtful list that I decided to put my own in writing. This is a list I’d  leave if I ever had a daughter.

• It is better to let go of something than hold onto nothing.
• Wear sunscreen and don’t smoke.
• Friends come and go, and learn to be okay with that. Just don’t let go of your biggest supporters.
• Good manners go a long way, as does a good-natured smile first thing in the morning. Say please and thank you – they’re the three most important words in the English language.
• Everyone is afraid of something. Everyone has lost something and everyone misses something. So try to cut people some slack because we are all struggling in one way or another.
• Start reading as soon as you can hold a newspaper.
• Don’t lament growing older – many people don’t get this privilege. P.S. 21 is not ‘old’.
• Don’t think you know everything there is to life at 23, because the worst – and the best – is yet to come.
• Forgiving people is never about letting the other person win; it is only ever about you forgiving yourself.
• Never turn up to a dinner party empty-handed.
• Love wholeheartedly the good bits about your body and learn how to hide the rest!
• If you ever decide to get married and have a wedding, don’t take it personally when you realise that weddings are and never will be just about you and your fiance. The marriage bit will take care of that – and you should invest more time and effort into that, than a one-day event.
• Don’t make work your life and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t absolutely love or are passionate about your job. Take up a hobby or be good at something outside of work so that you will always have a reason to get up in the morning.
• Life is too short to hang out with people who annoy you.
• Don’t be ever afraid to ask for help when you need it.
• Move out of home – learning how to be self-sufficient is the best thing you can do for yourself.
• Find a good hairdresser even if it takes you years of disastrous haircuts. And after that, never, ever stray.
• Keep a diary and try to write in it every day. And most importantly – don’t throw them out! When you pry them open on your 30th birthday, you’ll realise that all the small stuff needn’t be sweated, and that your youth was truly a precious time in your life.
• Be the bigger person. As hard as it is at the time, you will eventually realise how empowering it is.
• Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you; then ditch the rest.
• Your parents did the best they could – so give them a break every now and then.
• Do one thing that scares you every day.
• Travel. And realise that France and Paris are two entirely different things.
• Have no regrets – all the good stuff probably wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for all the bad.
• If you’re not sure if he’s The One, chances are, you never will be. As ironic as it sounds, you will know without having to even question it. And trust that letting him go just means you’re making room for someone better to walk into your life.
• Trust, mutual respect, intimacy and communication are the hallmarks of a healthy relationship. If you don’t have any of these, wake up and smell the roses; it ain’t gonna get any better. So leave him and DON’T go back. And delete him from your Facebook while you’re at it.
• Break-ups are inevitable and the pain that ensues will paralyse you. Cry your heart out for as long as you need to, but remember that whilst heartbreak is inevitable, suffering is optional.
• Be kind to your mother in-law. If it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have your husband.
• There is always room for dessert.

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